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Everyday I’m Ruzzlin’

You guys. YOU GUYS. I am so done. I am finished. Send support because I am permattached to my smartphone. Okay, that’s patently untrue. I’m not writing this on my phone (though I COULD BE). My phone is, in fact, charging because I played Ruzzle to the point of the battery’s exhausted collapse. (I wouldn’t let that stop me, but the phone is charging and the outlet’s not near the couch.)

Yeah, I said the R-word. RUZZLE. WHAT.

Stop. Ruzzle time!

Have you not heard of Ruzzle? I would ask how could you not, except I only heard about it a week ago. It entered my life as a nonsense word that my (fantastic!) friend Rei kept throwing around. Asking me if I was ruzzlin’. I’d give her a weird look and move on, which is pretty impressive given the number of weird conversations we have. Foolishly, I never asked what it was all about. I think I assumed it was a fashion game I’d seen her playing previously.

Of course, then Rei mentioned it was a word game. And then that shit was on.

Now, I am the beginner’s beginner. I still think I have a hella awesome first round if I break 200 points, and a sweet-ass final round if I break 700. I still fumble with my swiping, and stare dumbly at the screen for a precious second before moving. Needless to say, people are kicking my ass. Rei trounced me 6 times before she took pity on me and went to bed.

Of course, by that point, it wasn’t a mercy. I didn’t care if I was losing. I had to keep playing.

I’ve got 4 games going right now. I feel a bit shaky. My husband is discoursing learnedly to me about Aliens: Colonial Marines and I’m all “wow,” and “really?” and “you don’t say” while my eyes are glued to my smartphone and mentally I’m all “AD DEALS SHADY WED TOTAL FIE FILE FILES WHY ISN’T FAP A WORD IT’S ON THE INTERNET.”

I’d ask you to send help, but I honestly just want you to invite me to a game.

(Username is geekdame, obvs.)

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