It’s Cherno Alpha cocktail time! If you’re not already earwormed, I want you to go ahead and do this: go watch this Youtube video. I’ll wait. Cool, done? Okay, now start singing “It’s Cherno Alpha cocktail time!” to yourself. Do a shimmy up to your bar that’s only embarrassing if you’re not home alone or your guests aren’t already drunk. (If you’re alone, it ain’t no thing; if your guests are drunk, it’s hilarious.)
I hope your bar’s well stocked, particularly with vodka and various red liquids. You’re gonna need them to honor one of the baddest jaegers protecting the collective human ass from massive city-chompin’ kaiju.
So, you’ve all seen Pacific Rim, right? If you haven’t, I don’t even know why I’m talking to you right now. You need to take yourself to a theatre, educate yourself, and stop by the liquor store on the way back home. Pacific Rim is the giant mechs vs. giant monsters film you’ve been looking for, if you ever loved Godzilla, Gamera, Transformers, Neon Genesis Evangelion, Gundam, etc. This film is homage and love letter to them all. It’s also Guillermo del Toro’s warped and beautiful brain on film: I want to squeeze it and call it Squishy (for it will be mine and it will be my Squishy).
That didn’t get weird at all.
On top of all of that? Pacific Rim is a celebration of the human spirit, and the fact that collaboration and friendship among humanity is what makes us great. If that doesn’t call for a drink with a few friends, I don’t know what does.
As the oldest jaeger still active in the field, we’re starting with cocktails inspired by Cherno Alpha and the Kaidanovskys, the married couple who share the neural load. With their powers combined, Sasha and Aleksis turn Cherno Alpha into a clobberin’ machine that has slain six kaiju during its career.
After the Kaidanovskys have painted the seas luminescent blue with kaiju blood, they like to kick back and celebrate with some decadent desserts. In their honor, then:
The Kaidanovsky Weekender
1 1/2 oz UV Chocolate Cake vodka
3/4 oz Frangelico
3/4 oz Godiva Chocolate liqueur
2 oz Half & Half
Stir together in a martini glass, and garnish with chocolate curls that look better than mine. Decadent! I’m gonna admit I was pouring with a heavy hand on this one, so go over for the legit GeekDame version. (Any chocolate-infused vodka should do, honestly, and here’s a chocolate curl tutorial.)
Now, for the Cherno Alpha cocktails themselves! I’m gonna go ahead and tell you up front: I hope you like cranberry juice.
Cherno Alpha: Red
2 oz vodka
1.5 oz cherry liqueur
3 oz cranberry juice
dash of club soda
Shake the vodka, cherry liqueur, and cranberry juice together and pour over ice. Add a generous dash of club soda for a bit of fizz and tickle. Please get a decent vodka. I was drinking Russian Standard for the Mendeleev cachet, supposedly made to the father of the Periodic Table’s vodka formula – go science! (Even if that’s creative and mythical marketing.) Also, make sure you choose a cherry cordial that does not taste like Robitussin – I recommend Hiram Walker Cherry Brandy. And for goodness’ sake, make sure your cranberry juice has sugar in it. This cocktail needs the sweetness.
Cherno Alpha: Mk. 3
2 oz UV Chocolate Cake vodka
1.5 oz Kahlua
3 oz Half & Half
Pour the ingredients over ice and stir. Then drink that modified White Russian like a boss! A jaeger boss. (Again, any chocolate-infused vodka will probably do ya. And I originally wanted to make this with Godiva Mocha rather than Kahlua, but good luck finding that on a budget. You think the PPDC’s shelling out for the top shelf stuff? You got another think comin’. Wouldn’t even buy me better than a $3 cigar, and that stogie’s nasty.)
As always, please drink responsibly. Do not drink and drive your jaeger – the neural handshake’s gonna go to some bad places, and you’re just going to wake up with nosebleeds and regret. Nobody’s got time for that.
Let me know if you mix any of these up, and any mods you might make. This fandom is all about collaboration, so let’s build better cocktails if we’re able!
I know the Cyrillic for Cherno Alpha is technically wrong, but I used the official film spelling.
Polaroid frames from Fuzzimo.
Fonts used are Cuprum and Permanent Marker.
Awesome photo of Heather Doerksen and Robert Maillet found here.