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Merwoman at Large


Have you seen this carnival, gentle readers?

As you live on the coast and value your children, I exhort you to shun this devil’s playground. It appears here and there without warning, tents and structures so many toxic mushrooms turning up after a night of rain. And just as full of deadly delights!

Do not underestimate the siren lure of its twinkling lights and bombastic signs. SEE THE FALLEN WOMAN WALK ON GLASS with no harm to her! SEE THE FLYING HARRIETS who twist through the air with aid of naught but their mile-long hair! LOOK INTO THE DREAMING GLASS of the Maiden-Never-Waking to see worlds of fairy delight! So many devilish lures, and the most wicked at the heart of it all: TAKE TEA WITH THE MERWOMAN OF COPENHAGEN. But gentle readers and good people all, beware: not every child who steps into that silk parlor is seen outside harbor’s reach again.

It is not a secret that our own Minister of Sea Trade was recently enchanted by a soulless woman of the sea: she could not speak but danced lovely as sunrise. She beguiled all who encountered her, and her jealous plotting stole our Minister’s own bride! There was a knife, a terrible choice, and an empty bed come the new day. This Merwoman feeds the sea in souls to keep her two-legged still.

It is true that there were no charges brought against this toxic and mischievous creature, but let that not leave her uncondemned in the public sphere! Let not the lack of bodies in her wake lead the public into a false gaiety when this Wicked Circus trawls up and down our coastline! MUST ALL OUR CHILDREN SEW THEMSELVES TAILS OR TAKE UP BRINDLED MANTLES?!

Stay safe, stay sane: say no to mermaids.

The editor would like to add that there is  absolutely no truth to the pernicious rumor that the Minister’s wife looked favorably upon the silent woman, or was seen slipping through the shadows of night and away in a bustle of striped silk and shouting carnival folk. Nothing but lies and calumny, and do not mind the veiled woman who may or may not be wheeling the alleged criminal merwoman about.




Fastfic is a new limbering exercise I’m trying out – a single reference, 30 minutes writing, no revising.


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