Look, y’all, I know it’s been a while since I last posted an edition of “Once Upon A Are You Kidding Me?” I was pretty dedicated for a while there, taking the hit for the not-gonna-take-it team, staying in the trenches with so many other suffering-but-hopeful fans, keeping active in the Tumblr community. But then… but then…
It was Neverland. Neverland just killed me, chipped away at my last fingerhold of hope until I fell a long, long way into that black pit they killed Maleficent in. I lay among her shattered bones, and muttered “fuck a bunch of this! Wanna wander off for a cocktail?” Maleficent put herself back together, conjured up her fabulous Faerie Queen couture, and we wandered off into the darkness. Good times…
Where was I? Oh! Yes. Yes, I quit the show.
Of course, they decided to hit me where I live with this Queens of Darkness bit, and I’ve been thinking about taking up the Mantle of Exasperation once more. I must admit, I am there for Maleficent and Ursula in pretty much any media experience. Also, I hear Belle’s still alive! And maybe even has managed to garner a little bit of agency?
Regardless of whether I do it, though, I thought it was time to declare my colors and rally likeminded folk. Hence the above design, which you can find on a variety of shirt types over on Redbubble. If you’re a desperate fan, a former fan, or a would-be fan who just knows too much – this shirt’s for you.
If you still love pieces of the show, if you love what it could have become, if you just go “ACK!” every time someone brings it up or a commercial comes on – this shirt’s is for you.
Your fave may be problematic, but you can still enjoy it – you’re just becoming a conscientious fan who doesn’t take any guff from your fave or its creators. And this shirt’s for you. Enjoy!
Note: This design’s also available as a poster, card, tote bag, and throw pillow. For throwing.